QUEST FOR ROMANCE MOUNTAIN

BETHANY WAS A HUMAN WHO DID STUFF AND THINGS UNTIL SHE LEARNED THE MAGIC OF PONIES. THEN SHE BECAME A PONY. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU DO, YOU BECOME SOMETHING YOU LIKE.

SO ANYWAYS, SHE WAS A PONY AND SHE LIVED IN PONYVILLE.

AND SHE HEARD ABOUT 'ROMANCE MOUNTAIN' ONE DAY AND ITS MAGICAL WAYS OF MAKING PONIES FALL IN LOVE. SINCE SHE HAD DEVELOPED A WEIRD CRUSH ON BIG MACINTOSH SHE DECIDED TO FORCE HIM AGAINST HIS WILL TO GO FALL IN LOVE WITH HER.

THERE HE WAS AT THE BARN. SHE APPROACHED HIM. HE WAS TALL, MUSCULAR WITH A TONED FLANK UNLIKE ANY OTHER COLT EVER. BECAUSE HE WAS THE MOST HANDSOME PONY EVER. IN ALL OF EQUESTRIA EVER. EVER. SHE ASKED HIM "WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME WITH ME TO ROMANCE MOUNTAIN?". AND HE SAID "NO".

SO SHE BEGGED AND HE SAID NO BUT THEN HER FACE BOILED UP IN A FIREY RAGE AND SHE SAID, "BIG MACINTOSH IF YOU DO NOT COME TO THE ROMANCE MOUNTAIN WITH ME I WILL THROW YOU INTO FUCKING VOLCANO OF FUCKING LOVE AND TOLERANCE. NOW YOU COME WITH ME RIGHT NOW OR HAVE ME LOVE AND TOLERATE THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU".

SO HE DID.

AND BETHANY WAS LIKE "YEAH".
AND HE WAS LIKE "UGH".
AND SHE WAS LIKE "YEAH".

SO THEY TROTTED UP THE MOUNTAIN.

AND BETHANY WANTED TO KISS HIM BUT BIG MAC WAS ALL "HOLD YOUR HORSES. THAT IS A HORSE-PUN AND WE'RE HORSES SO IT'S FUNNY."

BUT BETHANY WAS ALL, "YOU FUCKING LET ME SHOWER YOU WITH ACIDIC AFFECTION YOU MOTHER TROTTER."
BUT SADLY, MAC LOVED ANOTHER PONY NAMED FLUTTERSHY. FLUTTERSHY WAS THE MOST MOE PONY OF ALL THE PONIES AND HE LOVED HER.
FLUTTERSHY CONVENIENTLY LOVED HIM TOO.

EXCEPT BETHANY LOVED HIM AND THEY WERE ON ROMANCE MOUNTAIN. SO HE FELL IN LOVE WITH BETHANY.

THEN FLUTTERSHY BECAME LESBIANS WITH RAINBOW DASH.

RAINBOW DASH WAS THE OTHER MOST HANDSOMEST PONY IN ALL OF EQUESTRIA EVER EXCEPT RAINBOW DASH WAS A LESBIANS.
FLUTTERSHY AND RAINBOW DASH LIVED THEIR LIFE OF LESBIANISM WONDERFULLY IN THE SKIES WHILE BIC MAC AND BETHANY LIVED TOGETHER BRUTALLY ON THE GROUND BECAUSE THEY'RE COOL LIKE THAT AND BETHANY IS SECRETLY AN ABUSIVE WIFE.